Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
