hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You're a disaster
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