There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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