And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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