The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Well I just put wine in my tea
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
