I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
