I seem to have left my pride at pride
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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