Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
