Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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