they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
