hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
