I wish I could punch you in the face.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
