No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
