those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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