hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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