sorry about calling you the devil all night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
