It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
