My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
