I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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