No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Randomize
