a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
try to milk me bitch
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
