I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
