I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
