The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
