This is not my ceiling
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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