You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
