he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
