I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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