thus making me awesome and them whores
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
