Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
