I want to stick my p in your. b.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
