I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
