Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
