Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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