Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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