my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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