Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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