Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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