Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
