So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize