There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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