the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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