he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize