I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
