I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
