sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
