so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize