i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize