I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
