fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
