I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
