i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
