McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
