In the future we'll all be gay
everyone is single if you try hard enough
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
