You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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