Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
