Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
