I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
