I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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