I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Life is so much better after having sex.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
