u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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