I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
