he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
