Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
