I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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