Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Small penises have feelings too.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
