he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
