my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
